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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Doug Clark's Snow Job Quiz, a multiple-choice exam, measured in igloos, designed to test your winter driving knowledge

Forgive me, I couldn't resist re-posting Doug Clark's quiz (Spokesman Review), after reading it in an article posted by the Idaho Transportation Department, in Today's News Briefs.  I think everyone deserves a little humor now and then! :)

Opinion: Spokesman Review
"The frantic scene I witnessed on the roads inspired me to create Doug's Snow Job Quiz, a multiple-choice exam designed to test your winter driving knowledge" link to original article by Doug Clark, Spokesman Review.
So please answer the following questions honestly. We’ll evaluate your scores at the bottom.

1. The term “snowbird” refers to …
        a. Those chicken-hearts who spend their winters in Arizona – 1 igloo.
        b. The annual influx of eagles at Lake Coeur d’Alene – 3 igloos.
        c. That middle-fingered salute you wag at idiots who can’t drive in snow – 5 igloos.

2. Becoming a Spokane snowplow operator requires …
         a. Years of professional driving experience – 1 igloo.
         b. The willingness to work all hours under extreme conditions – 3 igloos.
         c. A sadistic desire to turn every driveway entrance into an impassable avalanche – 5 igloos.

3. The bigger the snowstorm …
         a. The larger the shapeless mass on the TV weather radar – 1 igloo.
         b. The easier the forecast – 3 igloos.
         c. The more a TV weathercaster will act like a gibbering fool – 5 igloos.

4. The best implement for removing snow from a windshield is …
         a. A scraper specifically designed for the task – 1 igloo.
         b. A debit card or used McDonald’s sack – 3 igloos.
         c. Hit the “defrost” button. The faster you get going the faster things’ll melt – 5 igloos.

5. A good rule of thumb for snowy driving is to …
         a. Allow an extra 15 minutes to get wherever you’re going – 1 igloo
         b. Stay an extra car length behind the driver in front of you – 3 igloos.
         c. Reduce your speed 5 mph and text your friends about why you’re going to be so late – 5   igloos.

6. Every car should have a winter survival kit containing …
        a. A snow shovel – 1 igloo.
        b. Some food and a blanket – 3 igloos.
        c. One large empty coffee can – 5 igloos.

7. When driving in a snowstorm, stay tuned to local radio for …
         a. Winter weather advisories – 1 igloo.
         b. Street and school closures – 3 igloos.
         c. Additional hot air from blowhard Mike Fitzsimmons – 5 igloos.

8. A winter driver’s best friend is his …
         a. Quality snow tires – 1 igloo.
         b. Wipers that work – 3 igloos.
         c. Paid-up AAA membership – 5 igloos.

9. The best advice for winter driving is still …
         a. Only drive if you must – 1 igloo.
          b. Never drive faster than conditions allow – 3 igloos.
          c. Park your car and wait until spring – 5 igloos.

10. If your car suddenly loses control, you should?…
         a. Steer into the slide – 1 igloo.
          b. Tap your brakes lightly – 3 igloos.
          c. Scream “Holy %$^#!!” and reach for the coffee can – 5 igloos.

"A score of 10-25 igloos indicates you’re one of those overconfident know-it-alls the rest of us would like to push off a cliff.  Scoring 30 to 40 igloos suggests that if you’re not on Prozac, you should probably look into it.
If you scored a perfect 50 igloos, congratulations! You are definitely a Spokane- area driver.  Blink your lights and honk if you see Big Maroon coming. That should give me enough time to flip you the snowbird and swerve out of your way", Doug Clark, Spokesman Review.


Anonymous said...

Like the new site...keep up the good work BG! -ts

KMPO Staff said...

Thank you :)

Kevin Smith said...

Lovely post! Great! I really appreciated this post.

MCAS practice test , Make your own quiz

KMPO Staff said...

Thank you Mr. Smith.